Sometimes it feels like I'm ebbing and flowing through the world today. I must say that my networking adventures have really diminished thanks to a series of events that have left me gasping for air.
The last few years have been a whirlwind. Family tragedies, love and friendships gone awry and finally the rise and collapse of an eight year career at a place I once considered home.
I don't think I'm ready to go through the details of it all because in all frankness, I'm currently here. I'm resolving to adapt, to correct and to move forward.
What have I started doing in order to move forward and continue my networking adventures? Well where do I begin? For starters due to the fact that I have become unemployed, I did not take the usual course of action, "freak out and get another job". I didn't do that to myself because ever since the only time I was unemployed which happened when i was 23, I have been gainfully employed. Gainfully in a sense that I have been able to move my career around (of course only after severe disappointment in my employer of the time). The problem with doing this is that in moving around like that I did not improve my situation emotionally, I expected the move to fulfill me in ways that the other opportunities didn't. I was hoping for something that was never originally communicated in the offer space. My way of thinking was severely flawed because my expectation was based on the other person seeing my value as I saw it but that isn't how these things operate. Others value you based on what you can do for them or their professional reputation. It sounds really selfish, but it isn't meant as a stab against your talents, it's just one squirrel trying to get a nut in this world. We all fall to this and it's perfectly fine. If this isn't what you're made of, you can't continue to follow the routine expectations. What my observation in this abundant free time is that the more I was away from that environment, the better I felt, the more I value my independence and that my self worth will always tower over the opinions of others. I respect the opinion of my peers and business partners because we're meant to work together. As I like to have things operate a certain way when I work with others, I am also respectful of their wishes. I also discovered that I could have better used my time at work to better myself and sharpen my skills. Instead, I spent that time trying to be that person in a small mold that was made for me by someone else. It explains why I never succeeded there. I never shattered that mold and let myself outgrow those menial tasks. This go around, I have developed a success map that will help me achieve the goals that would lead me towards feeling fulfilled despite working for another similar like employer. I don't want to give up on the dream of working for myself. To build a client base where I can set my own days/hours/moments, that's where my course follows. It will take a little bit of time to get there, but at times we have to stretch ourselves to get to our desired locations.
So I digressed up there and let me apologize for that slight stream of consciousness. I do have to advise that because this is a big part of my life (a consuming part at that) it would take up a meaningful part of my life which could carve right into my romantic interests.
About my romantic interests. Thanks to a love gone really sour, I'VE BEEN SCARRED! I've been applying some emotional cream to help me get through the pain and finally bring me to a place where I can welcome with my whole heart someone who I can bring on my adventures. For the time being OKCupid is presenting me with potential options. Because of my self disappointment I have been really disappointed in my "matches". Between having someone send me inappropriate photos of their naughty bits and the lack of motivation in meeting some people who deliver a lackluster response in my conversations with them...we can all agree that the success rate so far has been 0%. I'm perfectly okay with this because my preference would be to meet someone organically. To have that flirtation face to face versus flirting with someones photograph. The aura of a person tells you so much about them. Such as eliciting the fight or flight response within me. I can say that I've had many an instance of people and my visceral response to them...such as nausea and straight up lacing my sneakers up and running the hell away without looking back. Where are the days when your family would drive a negotiation with another family and spouse you up? I'd be the rebellious type so...strike that!!! On to some "networking" events so I can draw up my dance card and see what the nights bring on.
Well enough of that for now...until next time, I'll keep on rowing upstream in the middle of a storm. *kisses*
~Ms. Networking
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