So last you read, I was in a romantic/physical situation with a hot man of mysterious proportions. And I got over it..sorry folks, it's just what I do, and apparently I do it well. Am I a little weepy over it..not really, maybe when I decided this would be it for me with him and it's a wrap, I was a little torn and even considered just keeping him for kicks, but I can't do that for too long without it creating a problem. Although Mr. Mystery was a big fat liar, I'm pretty certain his affections towards me were a little on the possessive side. (I'm cool with it, who wants to let this piece of hottieness go? None of my exes did.) And with that, it'd be more difficult to shake that one off my leg. So back to business. I have been fenced on MeetMe and how much of a PITA it is. So I'm pretty pop on that site but...I don't give a crap about it, I'd love to drop it just because I'm tired of it. And as I'm getting myself set up to drop it, I get a message from someone I've known since I was a kid. What do I find out from him? Oh that he's been head over heels for me for AGES! Of course finding this out made my jaw drop leaving my mouth agape. So why now about 15 years later are these confessions coming out? I guess with age comes nerve..and truth too. Nothing like a combination of star crossed and unrequited affections to stir things up. I have to confess, I always thought he was cute and nice, slightly reserved, but never anything bad or wrong w/ him. I never thought he would like me as a teenager since how we know each other is also a little bit of an iffy thing. See his sister married my cousin (both are much older than us). And his sister told him that he shouldn't ask me out because I'm too good for him...really? Damn, with family like that who needs enemies or bad friends? Regardless, should have been our decision to make not anyone else's, having overprotective family is a PITA (pain in the ass). Would I allow myself to have the one date with him...good question, I told him I'd let him cook for me and we'll have that one chance to see if there's REAL mutual interest and not something that illusions of children creates. So that's the first instance of confessions.
Second instance. Someone I met over 10 years ago still happens to be in my "friends" circle through the magic of Facebook. Do I pay attention to him? Only when he posts things worth commenting on, such as lyrics to Depeche Mode..I can't resist!! After that, he starts a side bar conversation through messaging and asks me why we weren't married... once again, mouth agape and how the hell do I respond to this? I simply replied with "I don't know". In all honestly, my response should have been "I don't know where to begin...". It's true, there are so many reasons I wouldn't marry him and for starters the basis for how we met was a lie. Lies about himself, lies about his marital status, lies lies lies. Although he lied, and I advised him that my interest for him was gone but because he was someone who was likable, we could remain friends. It's not easy meeting people you could talk to and have a good back and forth conversation with so why not be civil and accept the outcome as it should be, right? Let's follow up the other reasons I couldn't be with someone like him...attitude. When years passed and we lost contact but reconnected, there was potential for a situation to happen, but I couldn't and I don't know why, but it's that fight or flight instinct which says...FLIGHT! and I ran so fast, I don't know if the dust settled. fast forward a couple of years ago, I thought I'd start the friendship again except this time, he was a bit of a brute and vile and honestly, that attitude was the hugest turn off I could ever have experienced over another human being either. his intent was shown true and true and being reasonably protective over my heart, I didn't need someone new to use and abuse my genuine nature. Therefore OFF W/ HIS HEAD! and why do I have him as a FB friend people may ask? Same reason I keep people I don't like on my FB friend list...to watch them. Stalkerish, I know, but it's one of those things about me, I just need to know. But yea, he was being really nice yesterday trying to soften me up to go out with him, etc. I just have this desire to chase my dream, the dream of someone who will be straight with me and give me their truth with no chaser. With that comes story #3.
Now story #3 is kinda cool because it's someone I don't know at all. Yet another meetme except not a pervert (not that I know of yet but I'm glad a few days have passed and no signs of pervo stalkerness going on). nothing like a hurricane and it's disaster to bring people together. Especially someone who lives about 3 blocks away from me, LMAO. Yea who'd have thought this handsome, smart, nice and single man lives right by my house. Considering gas is a problem these days, driving around the block seems stupid to meet someone who is so close. So where do we meet? At the local pharmacy right next to his place!! What did we do? well we actually took a nice stroll around the neighborhood for an hour or two and got to know each other outside of the text. Guess what, we actually talked about ourselves, my dog, his past dogs and it didn't feel pressured nor uncomfortable. I guess this one was a decent hangout/date. So as a result we've made plans to go out on a dinner/movie date and see each other again. This one I would totally encourage because he was polite, respectful and made some good conversation. I can dig it.
Story #4. *yea you guys thought I was done, but Ms. Networking knows lots and lots of men. And men who don't seem to go away either. I refuse to change my number again, I've had this one for a year...I'm over it!* Ok enough ranting. So #4 is a younger man who also lived at one point around the corner from my house...literally. Was he cute? (is that even a question, yes, he's cute I don't hang out with unattractive males). So what was his problem? I don't know, I'm not the girl who wants to be molded into a white picket fences cookie cutter. I'm not a fan of that idea because I'm an adventurous spirit. He had a plan for himself that he would be married by a set time, he wanted a house by another time, kids etc etc etc. He was going to study to become a doctor and it was just perfectly planned in his head. I know I've told you I love a man with ambition, but when you couple it with someone who has everything plotted out so structured, it really leaves little wiggle room for being spontaneous and adventurous. I couldn't live that kind of life. I'd be miserable and it's just not for me. Fast forward, we met up about two or three months ago (short time before Mr. Mystery). Don't judge, I don't have time to keep track of when I date people. So he and I talk and he tells me how medical school is going, I'm glad for him that he's doing well, etc etc. Then *swak* he lands a kiss on me, I wasn't into it but I thought, perhaps I need to get into it..WRONG! You can't force a kiss to turn into something it isn't, and frankly, I was saved by a needy sister(yea I had to pick her stranded ass up from the train station...SCORE!!!). I couldn't do it, and I can't do it so I used my famous flight instinct and ran for the hills. Apparently that dust is still up in the air for him! So he's texting me about how this hurricane sucks ass and how he had to sit in the line of epic proportions to how cold it has been and whatnot, which I replied to, I am a caring person after all and this is a time of need. I think that was his way of breaking into his personal needs to finding out how I really felt after the kiss...I don't reply well to that kind of reconnaissance. I didn't reply, but you all know what I felt and common sense says, if the person doesn't look for you, it's possible they aren't into it as much as you are, and maybe you should just back away.
To conclude this long long bout of blogging what is the outcome? I may date #1, I would totally see #3 again and sorry but my even numbers are out high and dry. In this century we are all presented with a ton of options in life. We have the option to choose what flavoring we would like on our popcorn, what channel to watch out of thousands, what beverage to drink to what flavoring to add to plain old water. With the things we have readily available, this is what makes choosing someone so difficult today. When we weren't able to meet someone different so readily back pre-internet and pre-excessive information overload, we looked to our community, our friends, those who knew us well to make connections and create bonds and unity. It wasn't difficult, it was something that was natural, and people seemed happy with their choices, even till this day those people seem to be satisfied. Yes, people make mistakes, people misjudge their feelings but at least sticking by a choice was something that was expected. Today, we get a free pass for letting things go in search of "better". When will the dreamboat plant its anchor here in this heart? Unfortunately most boats aren't welcome lol. Tata for now folks, I'm sure I'll have more entertaining stories for you. I'm going to go meet more people today for it's a hang out w/ the girls kinda day and we're watching football.
GOOO BLUE!
