row row row your boat...

Sometimes it feels like I'm ebbing and flowing through the world today.  I must say that my networking adventures have really diminished thanks to a series of events that have left me gasping for air.

The last few years have been a whirlwind.  Family tragedies, love and friendships gone awry and finally the rise and collapse of an eight year career at a place I once considered home.

I don't think I'm ready to go through the details of it all because in all frankness, I'm currently here.  I'm resolving to adapt, to correct and to move forward.

What have I started doing in order to move forward and continue my networking adventures?  Well where do I begin?  For starters due to the fact that I have become unemployed, I did not take the usual course of action, "freak out and get another job".  I didn't do that to myself because ever since the only time I was unemployed which happened when i was 23, I have been gainfully employed.  Gainfully in a sense that I have been able to move my career around (of course only after severe disappointment in my employer of the time).  The problem with doing this is that in moving around like that I did not improve my situation emotionally, I expected the move to fulfill me in ways that the other opportunities didn't.  I was hoping for something that was never originally communicated in the offer space.  My way of thinking was severely flawed because my expectation was based on the other person seeing my value as I saw it but that isn't how these things operate.  Others value you based on what you can do for them or their professional reputation.  It sounds really selfish, but it isn't meant as a stab against your talents, it's just one squirrel trying to get a nut in this world.  We all fall to this and it's perfectly fine.  If this isn't what you're made of, you can't continue to follow the routine expectations.  What my observation in this abundant free time is that the more I was away from that environment, the better I felt, the more I value my independence and that my self worth will always tower over the opinions of others.  I respect the opinion of my peers and business partners because we're meant to work together.  As I like to have things operate a certain way when I work with others, I am also respectful of their wishes.  I also discovered that I could have better used my time at work to better myself and sharpen my skills.  Instead, I spent that time trying to be that person in a small mold that was made for me by someone else.  It explains why  I never succeeded there.  I never shattered that mold and let myself outgrow those menial tasks.  This go around, I have developed a success map that will help me achieve the goals that would lead me towards feeling fulfilled despite working for another similar like employer.  I don't want to give up on the dream of working for myself.  To build a client base where I can set my own days/hours/moments, that's where my course follows.  It will take a little bit of time to get there, but at times we have to stretch ourselves to get to our desired locations.

So I digressed up there and let me apologize for that slight stream of consciousness.  I do have to advise that because this is a big part of my life (a consuming part at that) it would take up a meaningful part of my life which could carve right into my romantic interests.

About my romantic interests.  Thanks to a love gone really sour, I'VE BEEN SCARRED!  I've been applying some emotional cream to help me get through the pain and finally bring me to a place where I can welcome with my whole heart someone who I can bring on my adventures.  For the time being OKCupid is presenting me with potential options.  Because of my self disappointment I have been really disappointed in my "matches".  Between having someone send me inappropriate photos of their naughty bits and the lack of motivation in meeting some people who deliver a lackluster response in my conversations with them...we can all agree that the success rate so far has been 0%.  I'm perfectly okay with this because my preference would be to meet someone organically.  To have that flirtation face to face versus flirting with someones photograph.  The aura of a person tells you so much about them.  Such as eliciting the fight or flight response within me.  I can say that I've had many an instance of people and my visceral response to them...such as nausea and straight up lacing my sneakers up and running the hell away without looking back.  Where are the days when your family would drive a negotiation with another family and spouse you up?  I'd be the rebellious type so...strike that!!! On to some "networking" events so I can draw up my dance card and see what the nights bring on.

Well enough of that for now...until next time, I'll keep on rowing upstream in the middle of a storm.  *kisses*

~Ms. Networking

BORED.COM

Yea I just went high school with that post title.  But to be 100% with you, the worst thing someone like me could ever be is BORED.  Bored to the point you add the ".com" at the end of it makes it even worse.

So what can I update you all on "Family".  Let's see, as usual, my networking prospects are on the up and up.  But this is said with lament on my part because frankly, keeping tab of all the potential is really taking a toll on my sleep!  Do these men work? Stop texting me, IMing me and sending me emails at all hours of the day.  There should be a cut off rule for these things, unless you and I are seeing each other for a late night encounter.. I am in no mood to hear about you.  Just sayin'.

I've made a decision to drop MeetMe.  just like I mentioned in a previous post, it has a deep level of neediness that I can't attend to, sorry gents but this lady needs a secure man who can handle my disappearances with class and patience. 

So yea, I get bored easily with folks, but Mr. Mystery seems to be peeping his head around these days.  At first I was beside myself thinking he was just audacious for even trying to be so bold and brazen to try to touch base with me.  I have to admit he has been doing things the way I want someone to do them.  He has me intrigued, he disappears when he needs to, doesn't give me time to get annoyed with seeing his face too much.  Regardless, when he initially contacted me I was little miss frigid and withdrawn.  That's how I get when I'm upset at my lovers.  Well who told him to send me some naughty texts while I'm at work??  I had shit to do so I did my work and ignored him.  (He's the type of man who appreciates a hard working woman who doesn't play kiddy games with the boys, work is work.)  Well let's just say he came back later in the evening to wish me a good night.  Can't hate him for that.  And then he wished me a happy thanksgiving by sending me a text of a turkey.  Yet another non naughty move that earned him attention.  Let's just say, he's moving out of the shit box for now.  So we'll have to see how this will work itself out.  And by looking at my horoscope, my romantic involvements seem to take an interesting turn this month...either romantic or professional.  Well I'm hoping for both because maybe I need to know that progress does exist.

Till my next post...which hopefully will be sooner than later.  Ciao folks!

Aw bejesus, why must I be the dreamboat?

Suddenly it seems like all these forlorn men are coming out of the woodwork... really guys, where were you when I would have seriously considered you?  damn man!
So last you read, I was in a romantic/physical situation with a hot man of  mysterious proportions.  And I got over it..sorry folks, it's just what I do, and apparently I do it well.  Am I a little weepy over it..not really, maybe when I decided this would be it for me with him and it's a wrap, I was a little torn and even considered just keeping him for kicks, but I can't do that for too long without it creating a problem.  Although Mr. Mystery was a big fat liar, I'm pretty certain his affections towards me were a little on the possessive side.  (I'm cool with it, who wants to let this piece of hottieness go? None of my exes did.)  And with that, it'd be more difficult to shake that one off my leg.  So back to business.  I have been fenced on MeetMe and how much of a PITA it is.  So I'm pretty pop on that site but...I don't give a crap about it, I'd love to drop it just because I'm tired of it.  And as I'm getting myself set up to drop it, I get a message from someone I've known since I was a kid.  What do I find out from him?  Oh that he's been head over heels for me for AGES! Of course finding this out made my jaw drop leaving my mouth agape.  So why now about 15 years later are these confessions coming out?  I guess with age comes nerve..and truth too.  Nothing like a combination of star crossed and unrequited affections to stir things up.  I have to confess, I always thought he was cute and nice, slightly reserved, but never anything bad or wrong w/ him.  I never thought he would like me as a teenager  since how we know each other is also a little bit of an iffy thing.  See his sister married my cousin (both are much older than us).  And his sister told him that he shouldn't ask me out because I'm too good for him...really? Damn, with family like that who needs enemies or bad friends? Regardless, should have been our decision to make not anyone else's, having overprotective family is a PITA (pain in the ass).  Would I allow myself to have the one date with him...good question, I told him I'd let him cook for me and we'll have that one chance to see if there's REAL mutual interest and not something that illusions of children creates.  So that's the first instance of confessions.

Second instance.  Someone I met over 10 years ago still happens to be in my "friends" circle through the magic of Facebook.  Do I pay attention to him? Only when he posts things worth commenting on, such as lyrics to Depeche Mode..I can't resist!!  After that, he starts a side bar conversation through messaging and asks me why we weren't married... once again, mouth agape and how the hell do I respond to this?  I simply replied with "I don't know".  In all honestly, my response should have been "I don't know where to begin...". It's true, there are so many reasons I wouldn't marry him and for starters the basis for how we met was a lie. Lies about himself, lies about his marital status, lies lies lies.  Although he lied, and I advised him that my interest for him was gone but because he was someone who was likable, we could remain friends.  It's not easy meeting people you could talk to and have a good back and forth conversation with so why not be civil and accept the outcome as it should be, right?  Let's follow up the other reasons I couldn't be with someone like him...attitude.  When years passed and we lost contact but reconnected, there was potential for a situation to happen, but I couldn't and I don't know why, but it's that fight or flight instinct which says...FLIGHT! and I ran so fast, I don't know if the dust settled.  fast forward a couple of years ago, I thought I'd start the friendship again except this time, he was a bit of a brute and vile and honestly, that attitude was the hugest turn off I could ever have experienced over another human being either.  his intent was shown true and true and being reasonably protective over my heart, I didn't need someone new to use and abuse my genuine nature. Therefore OFF W/ HIS HEAD!  and why do I have him as a FB friend people may ask?  Same reason I keep people I don't like on my FB friend list...to watch them.  Stalkerish, I know, but it's one of those things about me, I just need to know.  But yea, he was being really nice yesterday trying to soften me up to go out with him, etc.  I just have this desire to chase my dream, the dream of someone who will be straight with me and give me their truth with no chaser.  With that comes story #3.

Now story #3 is kinda cool because it's someone I don't know at all.  Yet another meetme except not a pervert (not that I know of yet but I'm glad a few days have passed and no signs of pervo stalkerness going on).  nothing like a hurricane and it's disaster to bring people together.  Especially someone who lives about 3 blocks away from me, LMAO.  Yea who'd have thought this handsome, smart, nice and single man lives right by my house.  Considering gas is a problem these days, driving around the block seems stupid to meet someone who is so close.  So where do we meet?  At the local pharmacy right next to his place!!  What did we do? well we actually took a nice stroll around the neighborhood for an hour or two and got to know each other outside of the text.  Guess what, we actually talked about ourselves, my dog, his past dogs and it didn't feel pressured nor uncomfortable.  I guess this one was a decent hangout/date.  So as a result we've made plans to go out on a dinner/movie date and see each other again.  This one I would totally encourage because he was polite, respectful and made some good conversation.  I can dig it.

Story #4.  *yea you guys thought I was done, but Ms. Networking knows lots and lots of men.  And men who don't seem to go away either. I refuse to change my number again, I've had this one for a year...I'm over it!* Ok enough ranting.  So #4 is a younger man who also lived at one point around the corner from my house...literally.  Was he cute? (is that even a question, yes, he's cute I don't hang out with unattractive males).  So what was his problem? I don't know, I'm not the girl who wants to be molded into a white picket fences cookie cutter.  I'm not a fan of that idea because I'm an adventurous spirit.  He had a plan for himself that he would be married by a set time, he wanted a house by another time, kids etc etc etc.  He was going to study to become a doctor and it was just perfectly planned in his head.  I know I've told you I love a man with ambition, but when you couple it with someone who has everything plotted out so structured, it really leaves little wiggle room for being spontaneous and adventurous.  I couldn't live that kind of life.  I'd be miserable and it's just not for me.  Fast forward, we met up about two or three months ago (short time before Mr. Mystery).  Don't judge, I don't have time to keep track of when I date people.  So he and I talk and he tells me how medical school is going, I'm glad for him that he's doing well, etc etc. Then *swak* he lands a kiss on me, I wasn't into it but I thought, perhaps I need to get into it..WRONG! You can't force a kiss to turn into something it isn't, and frankly, I was saved by a needy sister(yea I had to pick her stranded ass up from the train station...SCORE!!!).  I couldn't do it, and I can't do it so I used my famous flight instinct and ran for the hills.  Apparently that dust is still up in the air for him!  So he's texting me about how this hurricane sucks ass and how he had to sit in the line of epic proportions to how cold it has been and whatnot, which I replied to, I am a caring person after all and this is a time of need.  I think that was his way of breaking into his personal needs to finding out how I really felt after the kiss...I don't reply well to that kind of reconnaissance.  I didn't reply, but you all know what I felt and common sense says, if the person doesn't look for you, it's possible they aren't into it as much as you are, and maybe you should just back away.

To conclude this long long bout of blogging what is the outcome? I may date #1, I would totally see #3 again and sorry but my even numbers are out high and dry.  In this century we are all presented with a ton of options in life.  We have the option to choose what flavoring we would like on our popcorn, what channel to watch out of thousands,  what beverage to drink to what flavoring to add to plain old water.  With the things we have readily available, this is what makes choosing someone so difficult today.  When we weren't able to meet someone different so readily back pre-internet and pre-excessive information overload, we looked to our community, our friends, those who knew us well to make connections and create bonds and unity.  It wasn't difficult, it was something that was natural, and people seemed happy with their choices, even till this day those people seem to be satisfied. Yes, people make mistakes, people misjudge their feelings but at least sticking by a choice was something that was expected.  Today, we get a free pass for letting things go in search of "better".  When will the dreamboat plant its anchor here in this heart?  Unfortunately most boats aren't welcome lol.  Tata for now folks, I'm sure I'll have more entertaining stories for you.  I'm going to go meet more people today for it's a hang out w/ the girls kinda day and we're watching football.
GOOO BLUE!

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Really?

So I think we've all had these moments in "Networking" where we tell a little white lie in order to gain the temporary affections of a rather insignificant other who's there for the sole purpose of instant gratification, attention and hot boom boom time.  Now now, don't be hasty with me for saying this shameful fact, but I think at one point or another, we have either refrained from sharing certain facts about ourselves to attract someone, or shared facts that haven't happened (yet).  Regardless, most people would call it LYING.  Others would call it preservation of self.  I on this hand am sitting in the middle of the scales of justice trying to evaluate the value of telling skewed truths. 

I can say that I have shifted facts when I'm trying to get my diva on because let's just face it, some men can't handle that I have a career and that I'm actually damned smart and ambitious.  It's frightening to the point that they won't even try to have a fling (because let's be frank, I'm good with flings with men who have no destination in life, long term on the other hand, I have to share values with the future Mr. Networking).  And so you know, Mr. Networking will be super duper hot in my eyes and all man.  ALL MAN, none of that sensitive ponytail garbage either! ...okay let me get centered and back to the discussion at hand.  Not who is Ms. Networking attracted to (alpha male).

So back to the lying.  What kind of lies are forgivable when it comes to matters of the heart?  What kinds of lies are forgivable when you've told them in an attempt to get some action and didn't foresee a connection with the other person?  Would your lie jeopardize the continuation of such situation?  (Please note, because I am very strong on relationships, anything less than something committed is considered a situation in my eyes. So even though I'm canoodling with someone monogamy style...I will still call it a situation because once commitment is declared, that's when I'm off the market.)  Can the admission of a lie and telling of facts save the situation you've both created?  What if you lied and the other person came into it with good intentions and told nothing but the truth to you, would it be fair to expect them to trust you going forward? 

So I've met Mr. Mystery over a month or so ago.  (That's who I'm currently canoodling with, and no friends who I love dearly, you will know nothing about Mr. Mystery until I'm beyond certain of him).  Mr. Mystery has no ounce of boy in him, he's all man.  Fling, that is how this began, although there were certain fundamental value truths shared that I feel were indeed truths.  There were certain "truths" that I can guarantee are far from the truth (like his age).  The other night/morning, I stumbled across a truth that I didn't expect.  Today I'm on the fence regarding how I should treat this knowledge of truth.  In my mind logic comes out and says "unacceptable" where the other side of me comes out and says "it's really not terrible that he gave you misinformation".  This level of "truth" is one that was told for self preservation purposes.  It's sort of like when I tell someone I'm a teacher over the truth that is I'm a financial superpower of knowledge.  I'm sure Mr. Mystery has his reasons for not sharing the genuine truths with me (like why I wouldn't spend the night with him. I'd run like a bat out of hell as soon as I could which would be conveyed as I'm a married woman needing to go back to her husband).  I can only hope that with trust being built and affections being nurtured and grown, we could both put our cards on the table faced up and let each other in.  Although there are some things I would love to know about him because I will always be firm on the belief that knowledge is power, I am enjoying the mysterious man who surprises me every time I see him.  It's quite alright because I know that I haven't shared a lot of information with him either.  Guess I'm also Ms. Mystery to him. ;) 

This concludes my session of Ms. Networking's adventures.  Today's adventure being mysterious people and the truths they choose to tell and not tell.  What would you think are unacceptable truths? (Withholding information about having children is a big fat no no anywhere IMO.  If you're a parent, be proud about it, they are yours for life and should never be considered an untold secret.  Diseases are a big thing that shouldn't be hidden...that's just mean to not share w/ a potential bed buddy.)  OK enough of me on my soap box!

Update:
While it was cool having an affair with Mr. Mystery, I gave up on this for the simple fact that I do require attention and honesty from the gentlemen I choose to entertain behind closed doors.  I tell the truth, so should you, Just sayin'!  But don't worry readers, not only do I move on, I move on super quickly.  It's been a couple of weeks since I started writing this and I'm already in hot pursuit.  Will follow up in the next blog. xoxo

witching hour

Well good evening kiddies.  Hope this post finds you well.  It's about that hour of the night where indecent things can happen.  Where chance encounters can lead to more chance encounters.  And if found under the right situation a few misleading phone calls could happen.

I sometimes consider myself a witch.  I can be enchanting, mystical and hypnotic, yet at other times, I can be plain old mean and evil.  So what is this witch doing right now?  I'm bored as hell, tired and I can't seem to shut my eyes to get my ass to bed so I can be fresh as a daisy in the AM.  Sucks ass if you ask  me.  then I'd totally be a witch in the morning.  Not the smiling one either.


Regardless, Let's get back to what I wanted to speak to you about.  Networking online.  So my Spanish facebook named Quepasa.com changed its name to Meetme.com  (really?  you just made What's up go to needy...thanks marketing team, you just made my week).  But on a good note, at least I can chat with men who speak English pretty well.  I'll take that anyday.  This site has a scale that measures your popularity.  In a matter of 3 days of being on the site, I became Very Popular from "who the fuck is this bitch?".  Tons of single guys out there apparently, and they all wanna date me.. how sweet.  So I'm enchanting the hot ones and trying to be the evil witch to the uglies...did you all know how many uglies there are in the world?  They seem to be gravitating towards all these sites.  amazing if you ask me.


Then what follows the uglies...the nerd perverts with the terrible photos of themselves...no guy, you're not cool and your suggestive messages are making me want to report your corny ass selves.  KNOW YOUR ROLE IN LIFE SIR, KNOW IT!  THAT GOES TO YOU TOO, MR. UGLIES.  Seriously, if your personality is that in need of work, handle it before trying to come at me like I owe you something.  When I was overweight, men out rightly told me that I wasn't their type because of the chubbiness, and guess what, it's cool, I still got ass. Why?  Because I have the personality and confidence to back up my hotness, fat, slim, jaundiced, or tanned, sick or healthy, I'm damned hot and I don't have a problem walking around puffy chested over it.  Matter of fact, I love having that kind of energy surrounding me.  My friends are hot, my family is hot, my entity is hot, we're all so hot we melt paint off walls.  and if you're in my circle, guess what, it's probably because I think your'e hot enough to hang out with.  It's all about that energy that you carry with you.  At any given point if you display an ounce of insecurity, your appeal is at stake.  I know I make it sound like it's life or death, but isn't it?  (I'm a dramatic Latin woman, please be advised that I will bring anything out into a life or death situation, that's how some great decisions are made!)  But yes folks, love, sex, attraction, connections can be life or death.  Who do I want backing me up in case of a life threatening situation?  Someone who can feel confident enough to fight by my side, not someone who needs me to pick up their slack.

And on that note, Happy flirting!

Hello, Hola, Bonjour and such

Hi All,
I know most of you have been long awaiting the first post.  Man that's a lot of pressure.  I just can't get to a computer enough considering I am always out and about (hence networking and socializing are my main topics of discussion). 

So where shall I begin??  I guess at the beginning??  OK that's way too long ago. but here it is.

I'm a single 30 something year old (early 30 something).  I work a sexy finance job and I have a large large social circle composed of many different types of people/networks.  I have my fraternity friends, my work friends, my gym friends, my friends from forever and a day ago, and the people I randomly meet through other people and I just like going out with them from time to time.  So how did I acquire such a great amount of folks?  It has something to do with my spanktastic personality coupled with appeal and good looks. :D Ok maybe it's just that I'm silly as all heck and I can't contain myself in some situations.  This filter is unlocked a better part of the time and I think people enjoy the spontaneous outbursts that I have from time to time.

A few months ago one of my gym buddies, let's nickname her Puddin'.  She had a milestone birthday party for herself and invited a few of us who she likes to go to her big birthday bash.  Since it was a milestone party who the hell am I to not get dressed up?  I worked it baby.  My ass was in tip top condition, and I can rock a tight skirt and slinky outfit pretty nicely.  Plus one of my best pals was rockin her hot outfit so we have to look divalicious for our friend's birthday..it's only the right thing to do..just sayin'.

The party itself was great, we had food, good music, good times.  Nothing less than good things to be expected, except..well it was too short.  It's a weekend evening, gotta get out and enjoy the hotness, why not let the world experience it?  And oh my goodness they sure did.  I was labeled boring at the party...only because I wasn't acting like the loud Hispanic most people think I should be.  Little did that person who challenged me know that I exceed expectations and will most undoubtedly correct any misgivings people could have.  As soon as we moved to the forced after party, I ordered the cure to any level of boredom... Cherry flavored vodka shaken with ice (shake that shit style).  Sooner than expected, I was ordering a hookah with the smoking tips (hygiene first), I got progressively louder and finally the beast was awakened that night.  Which beast is that?? The maneater, the depraved, alcoholic networker extraordinaire.  And by networking, I've taken on a whole new definition to the term.  I just get to know men at bars and occasionally allow them to sample my lip gloss. *Judges..would that be appropriate?* To my chagrin the spot we elected for that first wild night became a spot to go hang out at all the time.  And I happen to network with new men quite regularly.  Lucky for me though, my beer goggles have improved in prescription because at least the dudes have been pretty attractive/hot. 

Overall, I consider myself very fortunate because for a better part of the time, I have no conscience and bad memory when too much cherry goodness has been consumed.  So be prepared to enjoy some of my wild shenanigans around the world and about all the fun people I know and have the pleasure to meet on a regular basis.  I hope you enjoy. (Thanks to a calendar that never seems to dry up, I think my well of meet and greets will overflow with reading goodness.)

Be patient with me, I'm still trying to work the kinks out on this blog and I promise to make it happen.